Road Trip: Cullen Style
by emmettcullen13
Summary: What happens when Carlisle decides to take the Cullens and Bella on a road trip? The answer: bad things. Set before BD in the summer. This will be a hilarious fanfic.
1. What Did I Get Myself Into

**ROAD TRIP: CULLEN STYLE**

**What did I get myself into?**

**So this is my first fan fiction. I was on the highway and saw a RV. My sister and I were joking about how my dad could never drag us on a road trip and as always I was thinking about twilight. I was thinking how the Cullen's would survive one and so here it is. This is set before Breaking Dawn.**

Disclaimer: Seriously people I don't own twilight or the characters but I'll tell you when I do.

_Bella's POV_

Edward is playing the piano; Jasper and Emmett are playing video games in the den. Esme was drawing designs in her studio, Carlisle is at work, and Rosalie I don't know she was probably looking at her reflection in the mirror somewhere. I was enduring torture A.K.A. Bella Barbie.

"Carlisle is home." As soon as the words were out of Alice's mouth she had a vision.

"Oh no, this isn't good." My imagination went wild with the possibilities of what her vision was about.

"What was your vision about?" She just shook her head.

"You'll find out soon enough." Thanks a lot, Alice.

A few minutes later I heard Carlisle came in the door.

"Family meeting now, Bella included." He probably would have whispered it but he said it loud for my benefit.

After mumbling something about how her make-over was cut short, Alice picked me up and ran down stairs. Everyone was already there. Jasper was on the couch. Emmett was sitting on the floor leaning against the couch Jasper was on, looking goofy as ever. Rosalie was sitting on his lap looking bored and annoyed. Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the two chairs. Edward was sitting on the love seat pinching the bridge of his nose, looking stressed.

Alice dropped me beside Edward and went to sit next to Jasper. I thought about asking him what was wrong but I figured that I would find out soon enough.

"I have been thinking that we need to bond more, especially with Bella. Some of you are really close with her, (He glanced at Edward, Alice and Emmett.) some of you are not (he looked at Rosalie and Jasper). Anyway on the way home I saw a RV and thought a road trip would be a good idea." A chorus of groans filled the room.

"There is no way I'm getting on some stinky, tiny RV, especially with the human." she glared at me and I Iooked down quickly.

"Too bad Rosalie we're doing this as a family." She wasn't exactly a happy camper at this point.

"The rules are: One. I will be taking cell phones, I-pods, game systems books, and anything that prevents bonding. Two, There will be a one bag maximum, this" he was cut off by Alice screaming he had to make her stop before he started talking again.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he shot Alice a look."There will be a one bag max because this is only a camper. I will be getting the biggest one available due to our family's size. Three, We won't be complaining, saying mean things to each other or glaring at each other." Then Edward coughed Rosalie.

"Four, this vacation will have a PG-13 rating, Emmett." Then we started laughing hysterically.

"And the last and most important rule; no eating Bella, or hurting her for that matter."

"Just be nice to each other and everything will be o.k." At that Edward burst out laughing.

"When are we going?" That was the first thing Jasper had said the whole time.

"Three days, I cleared it with Charlie and he thinks it is a great idea."

"When will we get back?" I asked

"We will head home when I feel we are a closer family." Everyone groaned because we will be on that bus a long time. Alice's hand shot up. Carlisle rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Yes, Alice."

"If we're going to leave in three days I need to start packing like right now."

"Everyone go pack and remember the rules." Then everyone started running around. I turned to Edward.

"Let's go to your room. It doesn't take me three days to pack." Alice appeared instantaneously in front of me. I jumped; really couldn't anyone around here give me some warning before they appeared out of thin air in front of me.

"Alice don't do that. Edward might be mad if you gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry I just wanted to tell you that you will go shopping with me in three hours to buy clothes for the road trip."

"Um…I already have clothes to pack."

"Please, if you're coming with us I'm getting you new clothes." I knew it was no use to fight with Alice so I just agreed.

Sure enough three hours later Alice was leading me to her porch. Emmett was in the front seat singing to Barbie Girl. My ears were burning. I didn't know he was coming.

"Why are you here, Emmett?" Alice answered for him.

"I have to buy him clothes too."

For once in my life I was happy to be at the mall. It was better than listening to Emmett sing, which he did the whole time. Alice drug us from store to store (Which in the process I tripped many times and caused Emmett to laugh hysterically.) making us try on countless outfits at each one. At one time I asked why we had to try them on if she could already see them on us and she said he was part of the shopping experience.

*day they leave*

I woke up, took a shower, and got ready. Then I went to the living room where I saw Emmett carrying two suitcases to the garage.

"Hey Bella, Ready to go on a road trip with seven vamps?" He was grinning like a mad man.

"Um…not really. Where is everyone?"

"In the garage, come on." So I followed him in and was disturbed by the sight I saw."

I**f anyone is reading this I'm so excited because I don't think anyone will, (With the exception of RavenclawVampire14 because she's awesome like that.) It will get funny as soon as I get them on them on the bus. I had to do this chapter as a transition. Please review and keep reading. There will be a new chapter up probably as soon ASAP. And if you thought this chapter was poorly written sorry because this is the first chapter I have ever written for fan fiction and I hope my writing will get better as the story progresses. **

**Thanks**

**Emmettcullen13**


	2. Pic of RV, must read to get next chapter

Really sorry I made a pic on word using shapes and it didn't show up! I worked really hard on it too. Well I'll have to just explain it to you. Picture a rectangle. In the far left room is the bunk bed room with the bathroom. In the next room is Esme and Carlisle's room. Then the main room. The main room is all open and it has kitchen stuff along the top wall. Then it has 3 couches, a plasma TV, and the game system. In the right part of the room is the driver's seat and passenger seat. I'm really sorry for this but I didn't know. Thanks


	3. The RV

**Here is the chapter I promised. O.K. so cheerleading practice was canceled. ******** But that's good for you guys because I have tonight to write. Thanks for the reviews. Thanks to those of you who added me to a favorite/alert list. I am extremely amazed by the number of people who read my story. Thanks to you all!**

**The Rv**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight then I would be writing Twilight 5 not a fanfiction people!**

**Make sure you look at the picture or you will get confused!!!**

**Previously: So I followed him in and was disturbed by what I saw. **

I first noticed the mountain of suitcases. Alice was staring at them like a difficult math problem. Emmett was scrubbing at invisible dirt on his jeep faster than my eyes could see even though we wouldn't be taking the jeep. Apparently he didn't want to leave it dirty. Rosalie was looking in the mirror in her M3. Carlisle was putting a pile of suitcases into the RV, which looked like a million dollar RV. I quickly realized that the mountain Alice was staring at was all her suitcases and the ones Carlisle was loading were the rest of the families.

"Um…Alice, did you pack your whole closet?" I asked

"This is barley any of my closet."**(A.N.) She has so many clothes that this mountain is like barley any of her clothes.)** Carlisle appeared by me then and sighed.

"Alice, I'll up the limit to three bags but that's all." She barley acknowledged him as she continued staring at the bags. Edward stood behind us then.

"Where were you?" I hadn't seen him

"In the RV putting things away with Esme." That reminded me that I haven't seen the inside of the RV. So I asked Edward.

"Can I see?"

"See what."

"The inside of the RV."

"Oh, sure. When I saw the inside I was amazed even though with the Cullen's nothing should surprise me. Edward smirked when he saw me stop dead in my tracks. This RV was just so amazing. We went in the room across from us. It had a king sized bed. The next room had a triple bunk bed! I had no idea such things existed. What made it even more amazing was that each bunk was a queen sized bed. The room led into the bathroom.

"And this is the main room." I had forgotten Edward was there he was so silent. The first thing I saw was a mini kitchen against the wall. Then there were three couches and a plasma TV with every video game system available. A driver's seat and passenger's seat were at the end of the room.

"Is it awesome or what." Emmett's voice surprised me. When I was looking at everything I had failed to notice that Edward's whole family had come in.

"It doesn't look like any other RV I have ever seen. Did you have to get it costume made?"

"Yea, most people don't need an RV for eight people. O.K. everyone can choose bunks.

All six of us went into the bunk bed room.

"So who gets to pick first." Emmett was the first to speak up.

"Well, I think me and Bella need the bottom bunk."

"Why?" I asked. Edward turned to me.

"Well, first you are the only one actually sleeping in here. We wanted to keep up the human charade in case anyone the inside, just extra precautions. The rest of us will just come in here when we get bored of being in the main room and want to hang out. And two you're a klutz and I don't want you to fall." I blushed when I heard the second reason. Emmett started rolling with laughter. Once he got himself under control he smacked fists with Edward and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, Bella, that was funny," I decided to ignore him.

"Oh, I want the top bunk!" of course the last one was Emmett.

"Fine, Jazz and I will take the middle one." We all started to leave.

"We're going to start driving now." Carlisle yelled from the front.

All the sudden Emmett started chanting, "Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!"

This was going to be a long road trip.

**Sorry it's short I wanted to put something up for you guys to tide you over. My sister and I did start chanting road trip when we went on a trip two states away. I will have another chapter up this weekend. Please keep reading. Next chapter the fun begins! *insert evil laugh here***

**Reviewing is like baking me virtual cookies so click below to bake cookies. Thanks!**


	4. Prank Calls and Dazzling

Prank Calls and Dazzling

First, I want to apologize to everyone for the chapter 2 mess-up. I changed it and just explained what the RV looks like. Again I'm sorry. I found a beta, bookworm411. Thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: No, I didn't acquire Twilight over night.

_Previously: All the sudden Emmett started chanting, "Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!" This was going to be a long road trip. _

_Rosalie's POV_

I was walking down the hallway holding Emmett's hand. Carlisle had already started driving and the rest of us were sitting on couches. Esme and Carlisle were in the seats up front excited that we were starting our trip.

"I'm not just going to sit here this whole freakin' trip." That of course was my Emmett.

"Then what do you expect us to do, Emmett," Jasper snapped back.

"Oh, I have an idea. Let's prank call people." Alice slipped into a vision.

"This will be fun!" she exclaimed as soon as it ended.

"Who are we going to call first?" Edward asked us.

"First, everyone throw me your cell phones." Everyone threw me their phones except Bella. She got it out, looked at it, then at me and handed it to Edward, who threw it to me. Ugh, she always has to have him do everything.

"She's a klutz she can't throw, be nice Rose." Bella was watching his lips vibrate and she wasn't too happy that her boyfriend was saying something to everyone that she couldn't hear. And she got more frustrated when everyone started laughing.

"Edward, Bella is extremely frustrated that we're all laughing at something she can't hear." Jasper told Edward loud enough that Bella could hear.

"Sorry, Bella Edward was saying something only for vampires," I added because I want to see how angry I could get her.

"Fine then, Edward. I'm only for humans." She detangled herself from him and sat on the arm of the couch as far from him as she could get. Then, she crossed her arms and refused to look at him. This was going to be good. Bella is stubborn, but Edward has the dazzling ability. Emmett and I exchanged a glance, and I could tell we were thinking the same thing.

"Fine there is no way you will be able to stay away from me." _Oh, wrong move, Edward,_ I thought.

"Watch me," Edward grinned.

"We see how he dazzles you, Bella. You don't stand a chance against him." Emmett said, trying to stir the pot. Everyone laughed, including Carlisle and Esme. Bella blushed and moved to sit next to Alice. Then, she stuck her tongue out at Edward.

"Anyway, let's get this show on the road. Who do we want to call?" Emmett was going to say something but Edward cut him off.

"Newton," Edward said as soon as I asked. It's no surprise that he would want to prank him; he smiled so I know he is reading my thoughts.

"Who has Mike's number?" Of course Newton had given me his number many times but I never put it in my phone.

"I do." Bella said.

"Bella, just a hint, when a freak like Newton gives you his number you don't actually put it in your phone." Emmett told her.

"I couldn't help it; he programmed it in my phone." she retorted while Edward growled.

"Stalker alert," Jasper whispered "Anyway what are we going to say?"

"Give me the phone, I've got an idea," Japer said smirking while Alice laughed. I threw him the phone and he Dialed Mike's number.

_(Phone conversation- Mike _Jasper)

"_Um…Hi?" Mike answered, picking up his phone._

"Yes, this is the national bed-wetter's association. (No offence to bed-wetter's.) We received your plea for help."

"_But I don't wet the bed!"_

"It's okay to admit it, this conversation is confidential. Admitting your problem is the first step to solving it."

"_I do not, I repeat, do not wet the bed."_

"I know for a fact that you do, your mother told me."

_(We heard Mike say, "I knew she would tell someone." We were laughing hysterically by this point.)_

" But it's okay that you don't want to admit it, I understand."

"_Um… maybe I do wet the bed on rare occasions."_

"You might as well tell me the whole truth."

"_Well…maybe every night." _

Do you want me to tell you how to solve your problem?"

"_Yes!!" Mike screamed in excitement._

"You need to call the number I give you and yell into the phone 'I, Mike Newton, am a bed wetter and I'm proud.'"

"_If it will fix my problem then I guess I could do that."_

"Okay, the number is 947-0094 (Lauren's number)"

"_Thank you."_

"No, thank you"

Mike didn't know the double meaning to his words.

"Okay, who are going to embarrass next," I wondered.

"The mutt!" Alice said in an evil voice.

"My turn!!" Emmett said as he snatched Bella's phone

_(Phone conversation- Jacob _Emmett)

"_Hello?"_

"This is the CFDD"

"_The what?"_

"The Center For Disobediant dogs."

"_Why are you calling me, then?"_

"We have been informed that your dog is extremely disobedient, trying to take a cat's girlfriend."

"_What the heck, do dog's even have girlfriend's?"_

"Well…yours doesn't."

"_Who told you I have a dog anyway?"_

"Um…I believe it was Embra and Qual."

"_Embry and Quil?"_

"Yes I think that's it."

We heard a growl followed by a crash before the line went dead. We all got Emmett's inside joke, except for the human of course.

"Where did you come up with the story about the cat's girlfriend, Emmett?"

"Bella, just think about it, Jake is the dog."

"Well, then what about the cat a…oh Edward's the cat and I'm the cat's girlfriend."

**Sorry if the joke was lame but that was good for me. Sorry it took so long to update. I found out this week on like Monday that I had to cheer an extra game and I was going to write it that day. So thanks for reading to find out if Bella will be able to stay away from Edward and review because I don't have many reviews. Tell me what you think they should do in the next chapter, like maybe truth or dare. Tell me!! **

**That green button is calling for you. REVIEW!!!**


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